7 pounds of pressure

7 pounds of pressure
Resting on my chest,
Just what I need,
Just where I need it.

On the tightness in my sternum
Where I feel the pressure squeeze,
Where stress manifests
Ever since that 7 pounds of pressure.

That fateful day in fall ten years ago,
I became the warrior I’d dreamed of being.
The patrol was a cluster
Our errors only outweighed by theirs.

So lucky the fire was from so far,
So lucky we didn’t pursue into mines.
So lucky we didn’t kill innocents. I think.
So lucky they didn’t kill any of us, that time.

Months, years later, when I feel stress,
I feel it right in the the center of my chest.
Right where you lie. When you need rest.
A weighted blanket, a hug on my heart.

Your sister came and changed our lives,
Her coming was tough, mom worked hard.
Your coming was miraculous.
You and mom worked hard to survive.

Our village helped us. Whisked your sister,
To visits, sleepovers, playgrounds, films.
I felt calm. Did what needed doing. Again.
I deferred payment on fear. I know how.

Last time the bill started coming due,
Months and years later, a strange tension
My chest right, EKGs, blood tests, X-Rays
Have you tried talk therapy? Aha!

I’ve learned since then.
Sleep, meditation, excercise. Words.
Touch. Touch is our family’s love language
For mommy and daddy and sister all love.

Back rubs, scratches, hand holds, hugs
We use our words and gestures to ask.
Daddy loves tight hugs, heart to heart.
Applying pressure right where it’s needed.

Every pound you gain makes you safer.
Up from 1.5, you’ve worked so hard,
We’ve worked hard to give what you need,
And you can already give so much.

7 pounds of pressure
Resting on my chest,
Just what I need,
Just where I need it.

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