It continues

I’m supposed to say everything is fine. But it’s not. There’s a global pandemic, over 200k Americans have died in an event a majority of developed nations controlled. We head towards an election as a divided nation, a would be autocrat, confirmed kleptocrat remains as president. All indications are he and his party intend to use their power to usurp power to the extent allowable, we’re anxious about what that might mean.

On the personal front, things aren’t awful, but they’re definitely not great either. We pulled our older daughter out of kindergarten – it was impossible to sit with her on a zoom call pretending what she was getting from it was education. We’re very grateful our youngest is home safely from the NICU, that our only health concern with her is that she not be infected with COVID-19 with her chronic lung disease of prematurity. But I’m still on the phone weekly with various insurance providers, government services and the hospitals trying to get them to pay for her care. She’s a mostly normal baby. She wakes us up at all hours of the night. Abby gets up with her and manages her needs while I try to get back to sleep as fast as possible. Then I get up at 7 or 8 with both of the girls and juggle between feeding the baby, approving snacks and some breakfast cooking and morning calls+meetings for work.

We’ve been very fortunate to find help from a college student who was diagnosed with COVID-19 and recovered from it and has tested negative and is willing to wear a mask when in our house. She helps play with and teach our older daughter in the weekday afternoons. Abby keeps the baby during that time and I try to catch up as much as possible on solo work. Other than these afternoons the only break we ever have is the other parent doubles up on their stress with two kids. Our breaks are grocery runs, doctors appointments, or an hour here or there to workout.

In the evenings I try to take the girls outside. We wear masks when we’re close to other people. The older kiddo is getting pretty good at wearing hers, keeping her space and telling other kids when they’re too close.

Then we get the kid fed and into bed with whatever debating that takes and try to spend an hour together alone. Then we do it again. And there’s no identifiable end in sight.

Others have it much worse than we do. We have steady employment with a good salary, insurance providers that should be paying for our healthcare. We have eachother. It’s good to bear in mind that others are more challenged. But it’s also ok to be honest that this is not great for anyone. And it continues…